we all have that friend who is really motivated about work and life and always has relationships and exercises and gets good grades and makes you feel like
if i were a murderer i’d be the febreze murderer and lead my victims blindfolded to undisclosed locations and i’d ask them what they smelled and they’d be like “omg ocean air and tulips” and then i’d rip off the blindfold and it would be A PILE OF THE BODIES OF MY PREVIOUS VICTIMS
my mom made me go to a therapist because of this
in australia, we pronounce ‘gif’ as ‘OI MATE THIS FUCKIN PICTURE IS MOVIN I AM SO FUCKIN FRIED’
that pole was like, “nope, you going back down”
I took a shit in my grandma’s cat’s litterbox when I was like 13 and my whole family was wilding out trying to figure out why the cat took such a huge dump. Then they took her to the vet and we found out she has feline HIV so in a way, I helped her.
this story was wild from start to finish
I wouldn’t let it go till that look in its eyes is gone.
No you’re not
This is what I come home to when I leave my sister alone.
In grade 8 I really hated this girl so I collected the sugar from my pack of sour patch kids and gave it to her saying its cocaine and she actually snorted it and at recess she pretended she was high and she was called crack whore for the rest of the year. Now she does real crack and blames me saying I got her addicted. She still doesnt know it was just sugar